Forgive or Forget?

"Just forget about it", "get over it" or my personal favourite "let it go". All of which do not actually master the act that is "forgiveness" but merely seems to encourage us to brush it under the table or remove it from our memories- temporarily. This common habit makes it difficult for us to really and truly forgive someone wholeheartedly. It's definitely a notion I have considered lately when I have found myself wandering if I too have done the same. Forgiven? or just forgotten?....

I guess we want to act as though whatever terrible thing that happened didn't and pretend that whatever bonds you have built are indestructible therefore the act of admitting we are hurt by others actions seems to be admitting a flaw in your relationships that needs to be mended. Which to be honest we just don't want to have to do. So to forget seems much more easier than going through the motions of forgiveness but in actuality in the long run we see more cracks appear from our quick fix solutions than we originally hoped for. You only have to look at cheap super glue to know what I mean.

I can see the pro's to appearing to have forgotten, but I guess it will always just be that- appearance to and not actually. They say 'I'll forgive but I won't forget". That saying always struck me as a very smart approach to a backstabber. lol.

So what is forgiveness? I have heard friends say it means to really deal with and get over whatever it is that happened and be able to have a healthy friendship or relationship without the need to throw the event back in the others face. But is forgiveness something to hand out to those asking for it? Or for someone to earn? Are somethings just unforgivable? Is just saying the words enough to make the statement of forgiving valid?

Are you really over what has happened to you? 

I am not trying to put rules and definitions upon the act but to really just point out the common behaviours we all find ourselves in. We are all human at the end of the day and at some point in our lives whether you are the forgiver now, later you may become the forgive-e.

© SimplySaarah, 2010