A rush of blood to the head

A blank page, empty thoughts
I don't need to tell myself to not think about it
because I'm already distracted.
Yes Thank God I'm coping.

I'm acting how I wanted to
without going through the motions
I'm glad I'm not moving in slow motion

Lifes whizzing past me
and I'm grabbing it with both hands.
Trying to fill this cut out piece of me
that I once filled with your demands

I don't want to deal with it
It's not unhealthy, I'm getting on perfectly
The heartbeat inside me seems stronger
I'm more down to earth with me
I'm acting more passionately
Because I have more energy.

I sealed those tear ducts up
No rivers to drown in anymore
Denial won't come knocking at my door
and neither will heartbreak.

They can't reach me where I go

I'm well put together, from scent to style to smile
and when they see me, they'll think I'm bouncy
I'm positive and stronger than what they thought I'd be
They'll believe that I didn't lose
That I'm not the victim
I'm starting new

But then it happens,
the hidden anticipation catches up to me
logic seems to follow me
irrationality is bothering me.
Tapping at my insides,
all the parts that hold the emotions
cracking at my courage as it seaps out slowly
my cup is now half empty.

While reality rushes back like blood to the head
I slowly feel things that I thought were dead
that I believed didn't live in me
but I guess I don't know how to accept
why those that weren't afraid to give good love
end up kicked out of love instead.